I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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