ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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