We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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