jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Randomize
