I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
