Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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