I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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