butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
