Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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