Your tits are I can't wait for
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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