he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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