I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
