For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
