Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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