Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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