there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
