I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
