do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
