Having a random hookup so left but love u
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
