So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize