...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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