Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
