people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
