You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
