Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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