guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
