he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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