Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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