Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Randomize
