He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize