I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
