can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
