just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
