i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
