dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
