Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
