he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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