dude i'm inner monologue high
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
