I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
