At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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