Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
