He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
