im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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