You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
