what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
