okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
