Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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