Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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