Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Be still, my beating vagina.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
