called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
love makes seman taste better
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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