Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Randomize
