So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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