Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
this will be a night to untag.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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