Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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