That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We need a shit load of segways right now
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
