Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
