..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
