I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
