How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
