Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
