I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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