where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
