I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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