i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
