she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize