It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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