this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
