I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
