:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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