I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
