I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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