I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
