1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
