I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
