your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
