Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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