Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
