I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
