the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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