dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
