i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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